It’s Time to Rethink What We Know About Sexual Assault
From the DARCC Education Department
Every time someone discloses a sexual assault, the same questions seem to follow. Why didn’t they fight back? Why didn’t they report it? Why did they stay in contact with the person who harmed them? Why can’t they remember exactly what happened? Most people do not ask these questions with bad intentions. They are trying to understand behavior that may not make sense from the outside. The problem is that many of these questions are shaped more by assumptions than by what research tells us about trauma, survivor behavior, and sexual violence. Those assumptions matter because they can influence whether a survivor is believed, how an interview or investigation unfolds, the care someone receives, and whether they feel safe enough to seek help.
Trauma Does Not Follow a Script
One of the most common misconceptions is that there is a “right” way to respond during or after a sexual assault. We expect survivors to scream, fight back, escape, report immediately, and remember every detail in perfect order. Research tells a more complicated story. The National Institute of Justice explains that trauma can affect a person’s physical and emotional responses as well as how memories are processed and recalled. A survivor may remember certain sensory details clearly while struggling to recall other information or explain events in chronological order. These reactions should not automatically be treated as evidence that someone is being dishonest or that an assault did not occur.
Sexual Assault Rarely Looks Like It Does on Television
Pop culture often portrays sexual assault as a violent attack committed by a stranger in a dark alley or isolated parking lot. In reality, most sexual violence is committed by someone the survivor knows. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center identifies family members, intimate partners, coworkers, classmates, acquaintances, and others within a survivor’s community as common perpetrators. Sexual violence may involve force, but it can also involve threats, manipulation, coercion, or the exploitation of trust. When our understanding is shaped more by fictional portrayals than by evidence, we may overlook how sexual violence commonly occurs.
Reporting Is More Complicated Than We Think
Sexual assault is also significantly underreported to law enforcement. The Bureau of Justice Statistics collects national data on rape and sexual assault victimizations that are reported and not reported to police. A survivor may decide not to report because of fear, shame, concerns about privacy, possible retaliation, an ongoing relationship with the person who harmed them, or the belief that they will not be taken seriously. Reporting is a deeply personal decision, and choosing not to report should never be treated as proof that an assault did not occur.
It Is Time to Challenge Our Assumptions
Research has changed what we know about trauma, memory, survivor behavior, and the people who commit sexual violence. The challenge is making sure our expectations and responses reflect that knowledge. When we judge survivors according to how we think trauma should look, we risk replacing evidence with assumptions and making it harder for survivors to be heard, believed, and supported.
Join DARCC on Wednesday, August 26, from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. CST for Understanding Sexual Assault Survivor & Offender Behavior, presented by Dr. Sheri Vanino. This free virtual Lunch & Learn will examine current research, challenge common misconceptions, and explore how a trauma-informed understanding of survivor and offender behavior can strengthen responses across advocacy, healthcare, education, law enforcement, and the broader community. Every survivor deserves a response grounded in research, not assumptions.
Click here to register for the next Lunch and Learn.