When Survivors Speak: What the Public Response to High-Profile Abuse Cases Reveals About Us
From the Lens of a Survivor
Being a survivor of sexual violence is something I carry every single day. Some days feel manageable, and other days feel overwhelming. We live in a world that does not prioritize survivors. Society often ignores how everyday moments like conversations, headlines, or comments affect those who have experienced trauma.
One day I was doomscrolling, moving through my feed without focus. A set of headlines stopped me cold. My body tensed. I stopped scrolling. I felt triggered, overwhelmed, and once again aware of the constant work of surviving:
I clicked through, my heart pounding. I read about the parties, the control, the fear Cassie endured. These headlines did not feel like entertainment. They felt personal. For me, and for so many survivors, this kind of public exposure reopens old wounds. Then came the familiar questions. “Why wait so long?” “Why settle?” “Isn’t he a good guy?” I have heard those voices before, not just from the media, but from within. Even after years of healing, doubt still slips in. Did I do something wrong? Will anyone believe me? Cassie's story, her descriptions of coercion, humiliation, and survival, felt achingly familiar. I remember what it is like to live in survival mode, and to stay quiet because speaking up felt more dangerous. When I saw terms like "coercive control" in those articles, it finally gave a name to something I had experienced. That language creates clarity and brings truth.
Although the headlines can be triggering and painful, what hurts even more is witnessing the public’s reaction and skepticism when a survivor shares their story. A major issue we continue to see is the public rushing to defend those with fame, wealth, or status. People examine the survivor’s story with a fine-tooth comb, searching for flaws or inconsistencies. Yet when it comes to the accused, they offer defenses. They make excuses. As a survivor, it makes me want to stop speaking out. It upholds rape culture and shifts blame onto the victim instead of the perpetrator. It tells others watching that it might be safer not to say anything at all. These headlines may be about Cassie, but the ripple effect is wide. Each time a survivor is dismissed or questioned, someone else decides it’s safer to stay silent. When abuse is turned into a spectacle for clicks or headlines, it erodes the dignity of those who’ve lived it.
I speak today as a survivor because our stories matter, even if they are complicated. Even if they don’t follow a clean timeline. Even if the proof is just what we lived through. We are still here telling the truth.